Answer:

Yes, sex is permitted and even encouraged on Shabbat.

The Talmud is full of positive references to sexual intercourse between married partners on Shabbat. Since Shabbat is a day of rest and enjoyment, Friday night is often considered an optimal time for marital relations. In Bava Kamma 82a, the Gemara says:

One should eat garlic on Shabbat eve. This is due to the fact that garlic enhances sexual potency, and Friday night is an appropriate time for conjugal relations.

Today, Jewish people in many different communities have the practice to set aside time on Shabbat for sexual intimacy. Shabbat is considered a particularly holy time to fulfill the mitzvahs of onah (pleasurable marital relations) and pru ur’vu (be fruitful and multiply). 

Nonetheless, there are some bedroom activities that are avoided on Shabbat due to the prohibition against melacha, or forbidden labor. For example, tying knots or using an electric vibrator are both violations of traditional Shabbat law.

Rabbi Lara Haft Yom-Tov is a Jewish educator based in London.

The post Ask the Expert: Is Sex Permitted on Shabbat? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Answer: What an appropriate question! Even in the days of the Talmud, our rabbis dealt with this issue of danger. In Shabbat 21b, the rabbis explain:

It is a mitzvah to place the Hanukkah lamp at the entrance to one’s house on the outside, so that all can see it. If he lived upstairs, he places it at the window adjacent to the public domain. And in a time of danger, one places the menorah on the table, and that is sufficient to fulfill his obligation.

Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 21b

The law of publicizing the miracle of Hanukkah turned from outward facing — placed next to the public domain — to inward facing, meaning that it was more important for people in the house to see the candles than someone outside in the street to see them. 

Therefore you can certainly light a menorah in a prominent place in the house that will only be seen by those inside the house. I think that it might be important to take the risk and publicize that we are proud Jews, but that is a decision for you to make. 

As far as fulfilling the mitzvah of lighting Hanukkah candles, you are on solid ground doing it inside the house. Some actually prefer to do it inside rather than in the window and will place the menorah on a little table next to the mezuzah in an inner doorway. This custom also originates in the Talmud (Shabbat 22a). 

Happy Hanukkah!

Rabbi Asher Lopatin is the spiritual leader of Kehillat Etz Chaim in Detroit, Michigan.

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Dear Jennifer,

I appreciate your desire to convert to Judaism and understand how hard it is to give up what you were raised with. Our childhood memories and practices help make us who we are today, and they can be hard to relinquish. 

There are many points of intersection between Judaism and Christianity, including the values of loving your neighbor as yourself, feeding the hungry, helping those less fortunate and honoring the image of God in all people. But if you choose to convert to Judaism, you will not be able to remain a Christian, mainly because Jewish and Christian theologies are incompatible. Jews believe in one God and most Christians believe in the trinity. 

Jews also don’t believe that Jesus is the messiah. We believe that Jesus was a human being who was a rabbi and a healer. Mainstream Jewish theology does teach that a messiah will come someday, but that this day has not yet arrived. When it comes, there will be peace on earth and justice will prevail. A quick look at the front page of a newspaper shows us that sadly we are quite far from this vision.

Rabbi Daniel Siegel, the founding rabbinic director of ALEPH Canada and the Integral Halachah Institute, notes some additional differences between Judaism and Christianity that would make it hard to embrace both:

Where Christians focus on correct belief, we tend to allow for more options (which Christians also do if we look at all the different churches as part of one whole). Where Protestants at least believe that faith itself is all that’s needed, we tend toward putting beliefs into practice through ritual and ceremonies in order to support our commitment to ethical behavior. And, while Christianity is ‘catholic,’ meaning that a person from any national or ethnic background can become a Christian, Judaism is still tied to a particular people with all the range that comes with (including non-believers, active heretics and so on), which is why becoming Jewish means being adopted into the tribe.

If you still find yourself drawn to Judaism but are unable to renounce your belief in Jesus, I invite you to find a Jewish community where you can participate as a Jewish ally or supporter of the Jewish people. It is a challenging time to be a Jew and having friends helps us feel less isolated. And if you decide that you want to convert to Judaism, without maintaining your Christian beliefs, we welcome you.

Rabbi Amy Grossblatt Pessah is a rabbi, author, spiritual director and mother. She was ordained by Aleph: Alliance for Jewish Renewal and received a master’s degree in Jewish education from Hebrew Union College.

The post Ask the Expert: Can I Convert to Judaism and Still Be Christian? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Dear Michael,

Amongst the best known phrases in Jewish culture is: Baruch atta Adonai, elohenu melech ha’olam. This translates to: “Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, sovereign of the cosmos.” 

This phrase, which concludes in many different ways, is the standard Jewish formula for what is called a brakha, or blessing.

The rabbis devoted considerable attention to blessings. In fact, the very first section of the Talmud, Tractate Berakhot, discusses both the form and content of these liturgies. Jewish blessings have some consistent characteristics: They contain both God’s name and the recognition of God’s sovereignty. They begin in the second person, addressing God directly. And they conclude in the third person, describing God with an epithet. In the Hamotzi blessing recited before eating bread, for example, the conclusion is: “the one who brings forth bread from the earth.”

The blessing formula is a major organizing principle of the siddur, or Jewish prayer book. The Amidah, the most central Jewish liturgy, is a sequence of paragraph-long blessings. And when the siddur makes use of other kinds of prayer texts, such as biblical excerpts, they are often framed by blessings that introduce, consecrate or contextualize them.

But while all blessings might be rightly described as prayers, not all prayers are blessings. Some of the oldest Hebrew prayer forms are lyric poems, such as those found in the Book of Psalms, which variously beseech, bemoan, praise or affirm God’s role in the life of the writer. The Shema, a centerpiece of daily Jewish prayer, consists of three biblical texts and no blessings. The Mourner’s Kaddish likewise contains no blessing formula. The Amidah’s peak moment is known as Kedushah, which moves beyond the human ability to bless God, invoking the angels singing “Holy! Holy! Holy!”

In recent as well as ancient times, many Jews have moved beyond scripted liturgies when they pray. Some utilize the Hasidic practice of hitbodedut, in which the individual speaks aloud, in their own language, directly to God (ideally alone, outdoors, in an unceasing stream of consciousness). Others find the most potent form of prayer to be the repetition of a single phrase, such as ein od milvado (“there is nothing besides God”). And still others move beyond words entirely and pray by singing a niggun, or wordless melody.

While blessings are inarguably a central feature of classical Jewish prayer, they are far from the totality.

Rabbi Kohenet Sarah Bracha Gershuny is a writer, ritualist, musician, healer and teacher.

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The middle days of Passover — known in Hebrew a hol hamoed — are a period in which some of the restrictions observed on the first and last days of the holiday (known as yom tov) are relaxed, but the days are still meant to have a festive holiday feel. 

Among the main differences between hol hamoed and yom tov of Passover is that many types of work are permitted, provided they are for the holiday, are enjoyable, or you would incur significant loss otherwise. So many people will return to work during these days rather than take a full week off of work, but if it’s possible to take a vacation without a significant penalty, it makes Passover feel very special. 

Because work is generally discouraged during these days (taking into account the above caveats), the practice among Sephardic Jews and many Ashkenazi Jews is not to wear tefillin during hol hamoed. Some Ashkenazi sources say that you should wear tefillin without reciting a blessing. The practice of my teacher, Rabbi Ahron Soloveichik, was not to wear tefillin during morning prayers (when they are usually worn), but he would wear them during the afternoon service without saying a blessing. My personal feeling is that not wearing tefillin gives hol hamoed a more yom tov feel, so I recommend not wearing them. But whether you do wear them or not, try to be extra strict about making the hol hamoed days feel a little more special. Maybe take an extra day off, or work an hour or two less.

There are also several adjustments made to the daily liturgy during hol hamoed. One of these is that we recite an abridged version of the Hallel prayer, the celebratory selection of psalms recited on most Jewish holidays. We only say half of Hallel because we are sad that the redemption of the Jews from Egypt came at the expense of the Egyptians who drowned in the Sea of Reeds. Another reason is that even though the Jews were freed from slavery, the full redemption of the messianic age has not yet come. We also add a special prayer, Ya’aleh Veyavo, during the morning service, which expresses a yearning for a time of true redemption and peace. And we add the extra Musaf prayer, which commemorates the special sacrifice that was offered in the ancient Temple on Passover. 

We also read several short Torah readings each day of hol hamoed. The readings deal with the laws of the first born and teaching Torah, lending money and caring for the weakest in society, the second set of tablets that were received after the sin of the golden calf, and the second “make-up” Passover first observed in the wilderness. 

There is also a prohibition on getting a haircut on hol hamoed because the rabbis wanted you to get one before the holiday. Many opinions say that you can shave on hol hamoed, but some say you can only do so if you shaved the day before yom tov. The reasoning is similar to the prohibition on haircuts: The rabbis wanted you to enter the holiday looking your best. 

Finally, hol hamoed has an eating requirement. You don’t have to eat matzah, but you are not supposed to fast. In the old days, it was customary to add chicken fat to eggs and onions. I think that custom has long gone from most homes, but food is a way of bringing people together and allowing for joy and friendship.

Rabbi Asher Lopatin is the spiritual leader of Kehillat Etz Chaim in Detroit, Michigan.

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Dear Jim,

Traditionally, mourners recite Kaddish for their parents for 11 months minus a day so that a full 30 days will pass between the conclusion of reciting of saying Kaddish and the elapse of a full year following death. The 11-month rule also applies in a leap year, when there are 13 months. The Jewish year 5784, which corresponds to the Gregorian year running from the fall of 2023 to the fall of 2024, is a leap year. 

The Hebrew date of your father’s death is 18 Av, 5783. That means the 11-month period would conclude on 18 Sivan, 5784, which corresponds to June 24, 2024. Your last day of reciting Kaddish would therefore be the day before: June 23, 2024. Since 5784 is a leap year in the Jewish calendar, there will be two months rather than the normal one between the conclusion of Kaddish and your father’s yahrtzeit on 18 Av, 5784, which corresponds to the Gregorian date August 22, 2024. You can look up these dates through Hebcal’s handy Jewish date converter. 

Jewish law does not stipulate what to do at the completion of Kaddish, but there are many meaningful customs that you can observe, including receiving an aliyah to the Torah, reciting a passage from Pirkei Avot (or another rabbinic text), as well as sharing some personal remarks in the memory of your loved one. There are also other creative rituals you could observe to mark the occasion. 

May your father’s memory be for a blessing.

Rabbi Danielle Upbin is the associate rabbi and prayer leader at Congregation Beth Shalom in Clearwater, Florida. 

The post Ask the Expert: How Do I Know When To Stop Saying Kaddish? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Dear Dennis,

First of all, my condolences on the passing of your wife. May her memory be a blessing. 

The custom of lighting a memorial candle in memory of the dead is deeply ingrained in Jewish tradition. Candles are commonly lit to mark losses both communal (such as the Holocaust) and personal, like the loss of a parent. The flame reminds us that no life is ever truly lost, only its memory gained.

Candles are customarily lit for the dead on their yahrtzeit, the Hebrew anniversary of their death. While the focus of a yahrtzeit in Jewish law is the recitation of the Mourner’s Kaddish, lighting a memorial candle is a more personal and home-based ritual. And though it is mentioned in some of the Jewish law codes (see Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 221:1), it merely a custom and not binding under Jewish law, which is why no blessing is recited over the lighting. 

While you are certainly not obligated to continue lighting a candle for your in-laws, if you are moved to remember them out of respect for their special relationship to you or mentorship they provided, then by all means light a candle on their yahrtzeit. You might also consider whether or not there are other mourners (such as your wife’s siblings) who are willing to maintain the tradition.

Rabbi Danielle Upbin is the associate rabbi and prayer leader at Congregation Beth Shalom in Clearwater, Florida.

The post Ask the Expert: Should I Light a Yahrtzeit Candle For an In-law? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Dear Robert,

Jewish tradition requires that we treat dead bodies with the utmost respect and strictly prohibits any action that would desecrate them. These laws are known as issur nivul hamet and are derived from the biblical prohibition on delaying burial, though some believe they are rooted in the more basic principle of loving your fellow human being. 

Among the requirements of these laws is that all organs be buried with the body. Fluids like blood are considered organs of the body, and since embalming requires removing fluids, the practice isn’t allowed. Though it’s true that in the Book of Genesis we learn that both Jacob and Joseph were embalmed, this was done before the Torah was given. And we don’t really know what embalming in ancient Egypt entailed. 

With respect to open-casket funerals, there’s no explicit law against it, but the widely observed Jewish custom is not to. In some communities, even mourners are prevented from seeing their loved one’s body after it has been prepared for burial, though this isn’t universal and some communities do permit it. But I’m not aware of any Jewish community that has open-casket funerals. One reason for this is that we want to emphasize the deceased’s everlasting impact and legacy, and the eternality of their soul, rather than the ephemeral nature of the physical body. 

As a rabbi who performs many funerals, I find it moving to see the wooden casket — sometimes very basic and sometimes beautifully crafted but still simple — which to me honors the limits of a life in this world and the infinite future for the soul as it passes to the true world beyond.

Rabbi Asher Lopatin is the spiritual leader of Kehillat Etz Chaim in Detroit, Michigan.

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Dear Nicholas,

As you probably know, Jews recite blessings before eating and drinking, and which blessing is recited depends on where the food grows. Over vegetables that grow in the earth, we recite the blessing borei p’ri ha’adamah (“who creates the fruit of the ground.”) Over tree fruits, the blessing is borei p’ri ha’etz (“who creates the fruit of the tree”). And on wine and grape juice, we say borei p’ri hagefen (“who creates the fruit of the vine.”)

Tomatoes do grow on vines, but they are not perennials, meaning the vines die every year. In the eyes of Jewish law then, tomatoes are considered a shrub growing in the ground and so we recite the blessing for vegetables. Grape vines are woody perennials, and so the blessing on grapes is the one recited for tree fruits like apples and pears (unless the grapes are made into wine or juice). Even though scientists do classify tomatoes as fruit, the blessing is determined by how it grows — not on whether or not it has seeds. 

Interestingly, it’s not just Jewish law that regards tomatoes as a vegetable. In 1893, the U.S. Supreme Court made the same determination, though its decision applies only for the purpose of tariffs. But if you’re planning on eating the tomato (as opposed shipping it overseas), borei p’ri ha’adamah is the blessing to recite.

Rabbi Asher Lopatin is the spiritual leader of Kehillat Etz Chaim in Detroit, Michigan.

The post Ask the Expert: Are Tomatoes from the Vine, Ground or Tree for Jewish Blessings? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Dear Hannah,

The Oxford English Dictionary defines syncretism as “the amalgamation or attempted amalgamation of different religions, cultures, or schools of thought.” And whether we like to admit it or not, our rich and ancient Jewish ritual tradition is full of it. 

We know, from the rabbis themselves, that the order and structure of the Passover seder was inspired by Greek symposia. It seems more than likely that the rituals of Sukkot, the waving of the lulav and etrog in particular, were adapted from harvest rituals of surrounding ancient Near Eastern cultures. Even the styles worn by Hasidic sects, often seen as the epitome of authentic Jewish dress, are largely the fashions popular with the Polish-Lithuanian nobility of the 18th and 19th centuries. 

This is not to say that anything and everything can be absorbed into Jewish history and ritual; elements able to be adapted were given a Jewish interpretation, while ideas and practices that were seen as incompatible with Jewish belief were, not surprisingly, vehemently rejected. 

All of this brings us to your wreath and where it fits in this line of syncretic practices. While here in America, wreaths are certainly most often associated with Christmas, their history goes further back to ancient Greece and Rome. In ancient Greece, wreaths were usually made of the previous year’s crop (wheat was always popular) and hung as a symbol of hope for a fruitful harvest in the coming year. In Roman culture, the wreath took on the more familiar circular structure (the corona) and was worn by warriors after securing victory in battle. Only later was the wreath adapted into Christianity, and particularly the celebration of Christmas. 

One thing to be aware of is the rabbinic concept of marit ayin — literally, “appearance to the eye.” This Jewish legal concept suggests that we avoid certain actions which, even though they are technically acceptable by Jewish law, give the impression that they violate it. Based on the history, though, and the fact that a rose in spring does not scream Christmas, it seems like your wreath, presumably meant to brighten your home, is a fine — and beautiful — syncretic practice. Have fun with it!

Rabbi Sari Laufer is the chief engagement officer at Stephen Wise Temple in Los Angeles. A cum laude graduate of Northwestern University Rabbi Laufer was ordained by Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, Los Angeles in May 2006. 

The post Ask the Expert: Can Jews Hang Wreaths On Their Doors? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Answer: The simple answer is no, there isn’t a specific Jewish blessing (bracha in Hebrew) that should be recited upon seeing a solar eclipse. That is because traditionally, Judaism and most ancient cultures have understood solar eclipses as dangerous omens. The biblical prophet Amos, for example, predicted a solar eclipse as a way of warning the people that God was angry and would punish them for their evil ways:

“I will make the sun set at noon; I will darken the earth on a sunny day. I will turn your festivals into mourning and your songs into dirges …”

(Amos 8:9-10) 

The Talmud declares a solar eclipse as “an evil sign for the whole world” (Sukkah 29a). The rabbis further illustrate their point with a parable featuring a king who invited guests for a lavish meal. The king became angry with his guests and told his servants to take the light away so that his guests would have to sit in the dark. Get it? God is the king, and we’re the guests who sit in the dark. 

But since when are we satisfied with the simple answer? Today, one could argue, we don’t really see the solar eclipse as scary or a bad omen, but rather as an amazing demonstration of the awesome, divine wisdom which manifests in creation. I know people who will travel across the country to get a better view of an eclipse. Our tradition has blessings over many awesome and wondrous things that we see in the natural world, including heavenly events. (Shulchan Aruch Orach Hayim 227–8). 

The blessing that is prescribed for seeing a comet/shooting star, lightning, strong winds, awesome mountains, valleys, oceans, rivers, or deserts, for example, is:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה’ אֳלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם עוֹשֶׂה מַעֲשֵׂה בְרֵאשִׁית

Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, oseh ma’aseh v’reishit.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Author of Creation.

We might argue that the above list — lightning, mountains, oceans, etc. — is not meant to be exhaustive but rather demonstrative and that, in our day, we should add solar eclipse to it.

Alternatively, one can also say this blessing for remarkable natural phenomenon:

 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה’ אֱלהֵינוּ מֶלֶך הָעוֹלָם שֶׁכֹּחוֹ וּגְבוּרָתוֹ מָלֵא עוֹלָם

Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, shekocho ooh g’vuratoh mahlay olam.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, whose strength and glory fills the universe. 

If you’re uncomfortable changing the time-honored custom of not saying a blessing on a solar eclipse, there is certainly precedent in Jewish tradition to interpret the eclipse as a bad sign. I have found experiencing a total solar eclipse to be awesome but also strange and somewhat disturbing. There are certainly enough crises in our world today — the climate being only one of them — to justify taking the opportunity of seeing the sky grow dark to think about our actions and what more we can do to help the natural and human world to return to health and harmony. Amos wanted the people to feel in their bones that they must change their actions before it was too late. If the solar eclipse in our day can help to do that for us, it would be a blessing! 

Rabbi Natan Margalit is the founder and president of Organic Torah and the Interim Dean of Faculty for the Aleph Ordination Program.

The post Ask the Expert: Is There a Jewish Blessing for Seeing a Solar Eclipse? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Answer: The performance of mitzvot — the commandments by which we Jews make sense of space, time and life — is integral to being Jewish. But what does their performance mean if you aren’t Jewish — or, in the case of conversion, you aren’t yet Jewish?

The talmudic sage Reish Lakish tells us that a non-Jew should not observe Shabbat, and Rabbi Yohanan tells us that a non-Jew should not study Torah (Sanhedrin 58b-59a). But we also read that a non-Jew who studies Torah is like the high priest (Sanhedrin 58b and Avodah Zarah 3a). There is clearly a tension here! 

In the Middle Ages, Maimonides interpreted this dynamic to express a difference between authentic practice of Jewish ritual and what we might today call cultural appropriation. What this means, he explains, is that a non-Jew should not steal Jewish rituals and practices (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Kings and Wars, 10:9). He is concerned they will start a new religion based on Torah or Jewish practices (it’s happened before!). However, says Maimonides, a person in the process of conversion is different because this person is in the process of taking on mitzvot!

There is a difference between conversion and cultural appropriation. A convert approaches Judaism out of love and connection. I have occasionally had conversion students express concerns whether it is cultural appropriation for them to take on cultural Jewish practices like language or Jewish humor. I affirm to those students that the process of conversion is about throwing in one’s lot with the Jewish people and our life of Torah, and they become owners and stakeholders in the tradition.

That’s why a person converting not only can but should begin to practice mitzvot. Your rabbi will determine what that practice looks like. There is a whole legal discourse about how much observance is enough and what acceptance of the Torah actually means. But you can also find some wisdom in the restrictive teachings we saw earlier, meaning there is a value to setting aside some practices for after conversion. For example, wearing a tallit is something one should not do before conversion, and saving this mitzvah for conversion actually allows for it to be a powerful sign of connection: literally wrapping oneself in the identity.

I’ve worked with a lot of converts over the years; it’s probably the greatest privilege of being a rabbi. Conversion is about fulfilling (and forming) spiritual aspirations, about connecting to other Jews and about reflecting on one’s life and place in the universe. As you go through conversion, you might often question: Am I doing this right? That question is itself a part of the process, the process of growth and self-creation that spirituality brings. Our tradition is rich with these dialectics of spiritual growth — may you, in your conversion journey, continue to become the Jew you are growing into.

Rabbi Eric Woodward is the rabbi of Congregation Beth El-Keser Israel in New Haven, Connecticut.

The post Ask the Expert: Are Any Jewish Rituals Forbidden During the Conversion Process? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Answer: In traditional Jewish law, a person is obligated to mourn for their parents, siblings and spouse (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 374). But what about the wide range of people whom we love and are close to who are not our immediate relatives? Your question gets at the complexity and depth of our relationships and the need to mark grief with the powerful rituals Jewish tradition offers us.

The short answer is yes, you can sit shiva for a person you are not obligated to mourn for. The Talmud, in Berakhot 16b, records the story of the sage Rabban Gamliel receiving formal condolence visits — essentially, shiva calls — following the death of Tavi, who was not a blood relative and spent his life enslaved to Rabban Gamliel. Tavi and Rabban Gamliel had a close relationship but were not formally family, yet Rabban Gamliel treated his grief at Tavi’s death as ritually significant.

Modern Jewish legal authorities also support taking on mourning observances for people we are not formally obligated to mourn. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, an 20th-century American Ashkenazi Orthodox authority, permits and even encourages relatives of those in mourning (people who are called “secondary mourners” in rabbinic literature, i.e. the spouse of someone who has lost a parent) to take on mourning practices like refraining from wearing fresh clean clothes or bathing (Darchei Moshe, Yoreh Deah 374:5). Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef, a 20th-century Israeli Sefardi authority, permits the recitation of Kaddish even for people who are not Jewish (Shu”t Yechaveh Daat, 6:60).

The one exception is kriah, the ritual tearing of clothes. This is observed today in some Jewish communities by wearing a torn ribbon pinned to one’s clothes. Halakhically speaking, this is a distinct mitzvah from the other practices of mourning, and because kriah causes destruction, there is more caution around doing it for non-obligatory mourning (Rema Yoreh Deah 340:6), though there are many opinions that allow for and encourage “tearing kriah” upon hearing of the death of a renowned scholar or close personal teacher. 

In my own experiences of losing loved ones, I have returned again and again to an article I was assigned to read in rabbinical school, a personal essay entitled “Let’s Bring Back Mourning Clothes.” The author describes a deep need for her grief to be legible without much explanation, writing that “I don’t want my grief to be private and unobtrusive; I want my grief to be understood without my having to constantly explain it. Everything now feels too loud and too bright.” Jewish mourning practices offer us a way to make our grief understood, and they are not restricted to the realm of obligatory mourning.

Rabbi Avigayil Halpern (she/her) is a writer and educator whose work focuses on feminist and queer Torah.

The post Ask the Expert: Can I Sit Shiva For Anyone? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Answer: The short answer is that when the Temple is rebuilt, may it come speedily in our days, there will still be a need for experts in Jewish law, and that means rabbis.

A quick history lesson: In ancient times, the Temple was the center of Jewish religious practice and its main function was to carry out the numerous sacrifices made to God. The Temple was staffed and run by priests and levites, but there were also rabbis who held religious authority, some of whom were priests or levites, though many were not. Today, priests and levites are not needed to run the Temple (since it has been gone nearly 2,000 years) but they are given special kavod (honor) in specific synagogue rituals. Today, our religious authority is concentrated in rabbis.

There are a variety of viewpoints across Jewish movements regarding the rebuilding of the Temple in Jerusalem, as well as which aspects of rabbinic Judaism would continue to be part of Jewish practice. Some traditions hope for a return to Temple sacrifices as described in our ancient sources, carried out by priests and levites. There are schools, or yeshivas, in Jerusalem where students specifically learn the laws of sacrifices, purity and other Temple-related matters so that they will be ready to make rulings as soon as the Temple is rebuilt. Their rabbis stand ready to direct what happens in a future Temple. Other traditions say that when the Temple is rebuilt most of the sacrifices carried out in ancient times will not return. Others say we will become vegetarians and make no sacrifices. But whatever position one takes about what will happen in a theoretical future Temple, there is no doubt that Jewish religious authorities will be more relevant than ever and needed to help figure out the details of worshiping God in this new reality.

The return of a Temple might also see the return of the Sanhedrin, a central governing body of 71 rabbis that existed in ancient times, both when the Temple stood and for a time after it was destroyed. And on the ground, throughout the world, rabbis will still be needed to make basic rulings for local populations. 

So the answer is that rabbis will not be replaced — hopefully! In fact, they might be more relevant than ever.

Rabbi Asher Lopatin is the spiritual leader of Kehillat Etz Chaim in Detroit, Michigan.

The post Ask the Expert: Will We Still Need Rabbis if the Temple Is Rebuilt? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Answer: Great question! It would depend on the proportion of wine to Jell-O. Many authorities rule that today you really need about 90% wine for a drink to still be considered wine — even though in talmudic times, wine was more concentrated and needed to be diluted up to 75% with water. So if the additives make up more than 10% of the shot, I would say it cannot be used for Friday night Kiddush. 

There is another fascinating question when it comes to Jell-O pops: If wine is solidified, is it still considered wine? This question comes up with frozen wine, and many rabbinic authorities hold that frozen wine is not considered wine anymore, for the purposes of making Kiddush. On the other hand, Jell-O is sort of a liquid and sort of not, so there is an argument that these pops — in appropriate concentration — are still wine. 

Since it may be difficult to achieve an adequate concentration of wine and there is some concern about whether a Jell-O is considered a liquid or not, my advice is that it’s best to avoid using Jell-O shots for Friday night Kiddush, which needs to be said specifically over wine (or, lacking wine, challah) according to Jewish law. 

But it may be possible to use a Jell-O shot for Kiddush on Shabbat morning. Unlike Friday night Kiddush, the Kiddush recited on Saturday only requires a chamar medina (literally: common drink), which has been widely interpreted to mean any kind of favorable drink that you would give to a guest. You could certainly give a Jell-O pop to a guest, and so as long as it has enough volume of liquid to fulfill the mitzvah of Kiddush — meaning at least 3 ounces — I would say that you could use it for Kiddush on Shabbat morning (or Havdalah) but not Friday night. 

When using other beverages — whether that’s a Jell-O shot, beer or coffee — to make Kiddush on Shabbat morning, the “fruit of the vine” bracha is replaced by a more generalized blessing:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳ אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם שֶׁהַכֹּל נִהְיָה בִּדְבָרוֹ

Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, shehakol ni-yeyah be-devaro. 

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, by Whose word all things come into being.

L’chaim!

Learn more about making Kiddush on alternative beverages here.

Rabbi Asher Lopatin is the spiritual leader of Kehillat Etz Chaim in Detroit, Michigan.

The post Ask the Expert: Can I Make Kiddush on a Jell-O Shot? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

Answer: This is a great question and the answer is no, it is not appropriate to wish someone mazel tov on a pregnancy.

Mazel tov is a blanket expression of congratulations for just about any achievement or celebratory lifecycle event. Literally translated as “a good constellation,” mazel tov is a phrase that dates back to antiquity, implying that the stars were aligned for the celebrant to enjoy their good fortune. 

When it comes to the news of a woman’s pregnancy, however, Jewish tradition suggests a little more restraint over our celestial exuberance. While news of your friend’s pregnancy is (hopefully) a welcomed tiding for the mother-to-be, Jewish tradition directs the well-wisher to be sensitive to the anxiety or complications that can unfortunately ensue throughout the months of pregnancy.

A healthy birth, in other words, can’t be guaranteed. Pre-empting the good news of the birth with a well-intended mazel tov is also considered by some to attract the ayin ha’ra, the evil eye. For that reason, the traditional response to the news of an expectant parent is “b’sha’ah tovah!” — a Hebrew phrase that literally translates to “in a good hour!” It is a wish that the baby will be born healthy in the appropriate time.

Some apply b’sha’ah tovah to the news of an engagement as well. While mazel tov is typically strewn all over the bride and groom, the full expression of celebration is sometimes withheld until the fait accompli of the wedding day. 

In your friend’s case, we pray that the baby will be born when the time is right. Once the baby is born, it is appropriate to extend a hardy mazel tov to the whole family. 

Rabbi Danielle Upbin teaches widely on Jewish spirituality, meditation and yoga. She is also the associate rabbi at Congregation Beth Shalom in Clearwater, Florida.

The post Ask the Expert: Can I Say Mazel Tov to a Pregnant Person? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.

• Can a non-Jew hang a mezuzah on their doorpost?
• Can I use cornbread (or any type of bread) instead of challah on Shabbat?
• Do Jews have godparents?
• Did Jews in shtetls have separate meat, dairy and Passover dishes?

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Answer: Robert, hanging a mezuzah on your door is not an insult at all. It is a very meaningful act!

Here’s some helpful information: Mezuzahs have two parts. There is an outside case that is visible and often decorative but the real ritual part (the commandment, as interpreted by the rabbis) is a small scroll inside the case, called a klaf, that contains chapters from Deuteronomy. You are welcome to get both the case and the scroll but because they are hand-written by scribes scrolls can be pricey! I would suggest that to show solidarity with the Jewish people, which is such a wonderful thing, you put up the case and don’t worry about the scroll inside, which no one will see anyway. But even if you wanted to put the scroll inside, it would be fine. Thank you so much for your solidarity!

Read: Why Jews hang a mezuzah on their doorpost.

Rabbi Asher Lopatin is the spiritual leader of Kehillat Etz Chaim in Detroit, Michigan.

The post Ask the Expert: Can a Non-Jew Hang a Mezuzah on their Doorpost? appeared first on My Jewish Learning.