Much of this conversation hangs on a single verb, which we first encounter in Parashat Vaetchanan.

וְזֹאת הַתּוֹרָה אֲשֶׁר שָׂם מֹשֶׁה לִפְנֵי בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל.
This is the teaching that Moses placed [sam] before the Israelites. Deuteronomy 4:44

Many readers will be familiar with this verse, which is recited in many synagogues as the Torah is displayed after the public reading, but the language is a little strange. Why does it say that Moses “placed” the Torah before the people? Why didn’t he give it, or maybe better, teach it?

In the Talmud, we encounter a significant but difficult truth about the Torah embedded in this verb.

Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said: What is the meaning of that which is written: “And this is the Torah which Moses put [sam] before the children of Israel.” If one merits it, the Torah becomes a potion [sam] of life for him. If one does not merit it, the Torah becomes a potion of death for him. Yoma 72b

Using talmudic wordplay, Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi observes that the Hebrew word for “placed” is a homophone for the Hebrew word for “potion.” From this, he argues that the nature of the Torah is not absolute, but relative. The kind of person you are and the way that you approach the Torah determines whether or not you will find the Torah life-giving or life-taking, invigorating or exhausting. According to this teaching, the Torah is not properly thought of as something that transforms us, but rather it is we who transform the Torah — through interpretation and application, but perhaps most importantly, through our attitude. We determine the nature of the Torah based on our own nature.

The question is: How? How does one become the sort of person for whom the Torah is a blessing instead of a burden? Where does this elusive merit come from?

A mishnah in Makkot offers this answer:

Rabbi Hananiah ben Akashia says: “The Holy Blessed One desired to bring merit to Israel, therefore He gave them much Torah [to study] and many commandments [to perform]: as it says, “The Lord desires [his servant’s] vindication, that he may magnify and glorify [His] teaching.” Makkot 3:16

According to this mishnah, the Torah and the commandments provide us with opportunities to find merit. In other words, what Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi tells us can be either life-giving or life-taking based upon our merit is the very thing that Rabbi Hananiah ben Akashia says is the source of the merit itself! Rabbi Hananiah ben Akashia does not take a selective or cautious approach to the Torah. He thinks that the goal and the function of Torah is merit and that we need to take the Torah upon ourselves and approach it with confidence and joy. The trepidation and anxiety embedded in Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi’s approach seems quite far from the outlook of Rabbi Hananiah ben Akashia.

Yet perhaps both Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi’s wariness and Rabbi Hananiah ben Akashia’s confidence are necessary to approach Torah successfully. Perhaps it is precisely the belief that the Torah brings merit is what makes us the kind of meritorious people that Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi says will make Torah a positive force in our lives.

If we choose to embrace Torah completely and enthusiastically, as Rabbi Hananiah ben Akashia urges, while holding on to the full awareness that it can be both complicated and difficult, as per Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi, then and only then are we set up to derive the goodness inherent in Torah. Both perspectives are necessary to avoid the pitfalls of an unhealthy or unbalanced approach. The Torah can be distorted — or distorting, harmful even. But by recognizing this possibility, and choosing to engage with it anyway, we enter into the relationship prepared for the risks and capable of weathering whatever storms arise. It’s only when we’re unaware that something could be misapplied or misunderstood that our innocence invites us to fail. The caution of Rabbi Yehoshua enables the confidence of Rabbi Hananiah ben Akashia, while the latter’s confidence ensures the former’s followers that the risk is indeed worthwhile.

In Parashat Vaetchanan, Moses places the Torah before the people and says: Deal with this wisely. I am promising you that this is hard, that it requires careful attention and that there is a possibility that you may not succeed. But I promise you that it is worth it. I provide you with this warning so that you can be successful, so that you will be strategic as well as loving in ensuring that the Torah is a source of blessing and of life.

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Rav Yehudah says that Shmuel says that it depends: If they can innovate within [the prayer] in some way, then they should go and pray again, but if not, they should not pray again.

Shmuel’s insight is innovative in and of itself. Though we often talk about the importance of having the proper intention in prayer (kavanah in Hebrew), innovation — the bringing of new thoughts and feelings to prayer — tends not to be the focus of our prayer concerns. Though the Talmud here is talking specifically about this “extra” prayer, the notion of newness raises an important question for our ritual lives more broadly.

Tradition is so valuable. The sense of meaning it offers is necessary and nourishing. But what about novelty? What are we doing to feel excited and creative? How are we allowing ourselves to be changed, challenged and energized? How can we surprise ourselves?

Shmuel is not talking here about changing prayer. He does not suggest writing a new prayer or changing the prayer practice itself, but rather re-engaging the old experience. He is suggesting the renewal of something within the prayer itself. He is asking us to ask ourselves: Are we just repeating the words of prayer or are we really speaking them? Can we make them feel new?

This demand for newness need not be limited to prayer. For example, we all find ourselves in conversations that can feel repetitive: How are you? What are you up to? How would these standard questions change if we really tapped into how much we care about the other person and how exciting it can be to learn something about someone else’s life. The same conversations can be transformed from small talk to “real talk.” It all depends on our attitude. If we pay attention to the possibility, if we have the desire, the conversation can feel new.

It’s the same with prayer. Even if we’ve prayed a million times before, we can feel like we’re praying again for the very first time.

Read all of Berakhot 21 on Sefaria.

This piece originally appeared in a My Jewish Learning Daf Yomi email newsletter sent on January 24, 2020. If you are interested in receiving the newsletter, sign up here.

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